Staff Spotlight:
My arrival at Liberty has been 25 years in the making. The highlights and lowlights of why I am here center in my daily journey as a recovering alcoholic and addict, and a difficult journey as a trauma survivor, nurse, clinical educator, nurse practitioner and recovering perfectionist.
Facilitating medication administration, monitoring vitals signs, and educating clients and support staff about physical, mental, and nutritional well being in early recovery is the epicenter of what I “do” at Liberty, and it is all founded on a passion for education. My background includes undergraduate studies at Westminster College in English and Spanish Literature, choral music, and two years as the goalkeeper of the Griffin Men’s Soccer team. This was followed by study and work at the University of Utah College of Nursing and University Hospital, with specialized work in the cardiac-telemetry department, the Huntsman Cancer Institute’s Surgical Special Care Unit, and as an ICU float nurse. I returned to Westminster for a Master’s in Nursing in 2011, worked as an on-call Hospice nurse throughout my graduate studies, and subsequently spent 11 years focused in Hospice and Palliative Care for clients in the home, assisted living, and post-acute settings from Tremonton to Payson and Grantsville to Kamas.
My initial motivation for going into nursing was to become a Mental Health Nurse Practitioner, and it wasn’t until I went through clinical burnout in 2018 and 2020, came face to face with addiction as a core of my mental health struggles, and found Liberty in 2021-2022 that I ever considered working in recovery. In coming to better understand my Higher Power and my own heart, and through the guidance of therapists like Courtney, Bridger, Sean and Chris, I made a determination to transition from Hospice and Palliative medicine and dedicate my efforts to sharing what I have experienced and learned as both a nurse and a recovering addict and alcoholic.
My favorite part of working in recovery is seeing the “lights come back on” as a client comes clean, stays sober, and surrenders to the life that is possible with a reliance on a power greater than themselves. I love seeing a client shift from a negative and self-defeating/victim mentality to a life approach that includes acceptance, honesty, openness, and a more outward focus.
My personal philosophy in recovery is that we can and must be willing to do what is difficult in order to develop beyond the old patterns of doing what is easiest. Comfort is the enemy of growth and development, and I focus on supporting clients through the challenges of identifying thought errors, turning toward their fears and limitations, and seeing with new eyes what is possible when they can shift to a Higher paradigm to see themselves and others as God does and develop genuine connection with their Higher Power. I firmly believe that everything necessary for healing and recovery comes from within, that nutrition, medications, coping strategies, and breathing techniques are vital tools, but the ultimate work is done going inward instead of looking for external sources to provide the repair and healing that the body, mind and spirit already carry. Recovery, as I understand it, has as much to do with un-learning as it does with new learning as an attempt to “figure out”, “fix”, or “cure” what is essentially a dis-ease with one’s spiritual connection to the Divine… and by extension, one’s family, friends, peers, and associates. My core philosophy in recovery is that “one cannot think their way into right action, but they can act, through the 12 steps of recovery, in such a way that right thinking will be the ultimate result of committed, consistent action, 24 hours at a time.
Some interesting facts about me:
Singing and drumming are my favorite medicine, and I have performed in choirs on 3 different continents in my lifetime; I love birds with a deep and abiding curiosity; Climbing mountains and riding bicycles keeps me sane and strong; Tai Chi and Breathwork are the daily practices that provide me the greatest strength in my recovery. I have 3 Children, Grace 16, Mason 10, and Noah 9, and I am happiest when we are on the trail together, paddleboarding, or drowning worms in Utah’s lakes and rivers.
Over the past 3 months I have seen miracles occur, medication levels be significantly decreased and in some cases discontinued altogether, clouds of depression and suicidal ideations break apart to let in new Light, and people who had totally given up on themselves and were once at odds with others, surrender and apply the principles of honesty, accountability, tolerance, open-mindedness, and a focus on serving/lifting others as the path to finding their way out of their darkest times and their tragic, traumatic pasts.
The one thing that I hope every client takes with them from their time at Liberty is that their Higher Power knows them personally, understands them intimately, and is willing to support them infinitely provided that they put forth consistent, daily effort and keep rising every time they fall.
If you could give one piece of advice to anyone in recovery, what would it be?
- Surrender. Seek first to listen and understand. Let meditation and prayer be constants in your life, and take this recovery journey one slow, deep breath at a time.
