At Liberty, I consider us to be an emotions-based program. A lot of the curriculum is set up to support our clients with getting to the root of their true emotions, rather than masking them, which is what you do during active addiction. That doesn’t just go away when you get sober. Once the drugs and alcohol are gone, the emotions are still there, and usually intensified. They’re still painful, uncomfortable, and often raw and vulnerable. Instead of substances, it is natural to then turn to a variety of defense mechanisms to mask those true emotions. This can look like humor, diversion, rationalization, intellectualization, sexualization, etc. It’s often like grasping at straws, trying to find any mechanism that won’t make you feel what you’re feeling! By continuing to mask your emotions, however, you are left highly vulnerable to relapse because you have not learned healthy skills to cope with those uncomfortable emotions. At Liberty, we challenge you to
● Get comfortable being uncomfortable!
● Give yourself permission to be human.
● Remind yourself that emotions come and go. This feeling won’t last forever.
● As uncomfortable or painful as it might feel right now, this emotion will not kill you. This too shall pass.
● Ride the wave! This emotion may feel large and intense right now, but it will crash and dissipate. You will not feel this way forever.
● Breathe! You don’t have to do anything with the emotion, just breathe and get through it. Your confidence will build every time you do this.
As you learn to get more comfortable and accepting of all the different emotions coming back to you, you will increase your tolerance for discomfort, thereby increasing your ability to maintain long-term sobriety. You get to control how you respond to your emotions, rather than allowing your emotions to control your behaviors.
Courtney Baker, LCSW
Clinical Director
